This lighthearted educational talk explores the wild west of dataframes. We discuss where dataframes got their origin (it wasn't R), how dataframes have evolved over time, and why dataframe is such a confusing term (what even is a dataframe?). We will look at what makes dataframes special from both a theoretical computer science perspective (the math is brief, I promise!) and from a technology landscape perspective. This talk doesn't advocate for any specific tool or technology, but instead surveys the broad field of dataframes as a whole.